I am constantly learning things about myself, especially within the last XX months of unemployment where I have been stuck with myself, in all my “glory,” day and night. No distractions from work or school. No familial obligations. It’s just me. I have all the time in the world to think. For the good and the bad, I am unraveling the many layers of myself- new things, old things, and things that I had forgotten. And today, I unraveled another dimension. I want to talk briefly about bologna.I went to the store and instead of buying the usual free-range, organic, nitrate-free, all natural packaged meat products (thank you mom), I went straight for the Oscar Mayer Bologna. It was everything that I stood against. You see, I’m not a hard-core food snob; I’ll eat just about anything (w/out cheese in it). But bologna is still a nasty meat, any way that you look at it. Sorry.
But in that moment, I remembered how much I love bologna. I love every stinkin thing about it. And today, the cheap price, bright yellow packaging, and hot-pink colored meat seemed to beckon me to come closer and partake. It was as if childhood was calling my name, whispering in my ear of care-free days where worries kept their distance right along with lengthy lists of ingredients, fat, and calories.
I was almost giddy as I left the store, bologna in hand. I was being bad and rebellious. And as I bit into the bright, slimy-smooth textured meat product, my happiness soared. The taste was so familiar and indescribably exquisite. I laughed as I looked at the ingredients, complete with mechanically-separated meats, chemicals, corn syrup, and a boat load of sodiums I had never heard of. I went back for seconds. And thirds. I became excessively thirsty from the enormous quantity of salt I had just ingested. And when the bread ran out, I ate the last remaining slices alone with my bare hands. It was the best meal I had eaten in a long time.
So why do I share this with you? Because it made me happy. Because I recaptured a small piece of childhood and with that, the essence of happiness that sometimes comes through small and simple things--however meaningless or worldly they might be.
Sometimes we need to go back to the basics and remember what makes us tick.
Sometimes we simply need to discover or rediscover an old love. Sometimes we need to bask in temporary, fleeting pleasures. Sometimes we need to make the less-than-good decision just because it’s fun. Sometimes, we need to reach for the bologna, and not think twice about it. Tomorrow you can go back to who you were yesterday. But at least you will have smiled and perhaps rediscovered another little layer of yourself that got buried beneath the hustle and bustle of life and practicality.
Now that's food for thought.
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